Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Dear manipulator on the train . . .

I remember the last time we took the train together. It was four weeks ago today. The officer quietly asked for tickets, and you spent so long arguing with him and giving excuses that I could have ridden two stops for free and gotten away with it. I remember you admitting to him that it was your second time (being caught, which means you probably ride all the time without paying).
So this morning, even though I didn't recognize you when you were complaining to the other guy next to you that you needed to get a loan to pay your DUI citations, I could certainly recognize you when you tried to talk your way out of your third citation. It was rather entertaining watching the officer very pleasantly and politely catch you lying to him three different ways. You seemed not to listen when he explained to you that what you needed was to start making better decisions. So, even though you're not listening, I have two pieces of advice for you:

  1. When he's got you--I mean, got you so thoroughly your tongue may as well be nailed to the floor--stop talking. You're only making it worse.
  2. You might consider taking another train than the 8 o'clock on Tuesdays. The two times I've watched you get cited are the only two times in three years my ticket has been checked.

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